Chaotic Urges

I’m a regular visitor to Trollhalla, the site run by Ken St. Andre dedicated to his Tunnels and Trolls (T&T) game. Ken is currently working on the “Chaotic 8th edition” of T&T. As usual, he is giving members of Trollhalla the chance to contribute ideas for the new edition of T&T. I had said initially that I didn’t have time to contribute, that I had too much else to do with my own projects (such as Eposic’s forthcoming second anthology, Out of Order).

But I’m a sucker for little exercises in creativity, and so couldn’t resist when Ken invited us to each come up with a list of 13 races (kindreds in T&T-speak) for possible inclusion in the new edition of T&T. Since Ken was emphasizing the “Chaotic” aspect of his new edition of T&T, I decided that for my list, I’d make up 13 kindred names on the spot. And so I did, and entered the names without descriptions on the Trollhalla ‘wall.’ I was feeling quite accomplished that I had even done that much. I ended my list by saying not to ask me for descriptions. That’s mainly because I didn’t have any!

But some Trollhalla members told me to give descriptions anyway. They didn’t ask, they ordered. So I took it as a challenge to come up with some descriptions, however brief, for the 13 names I’d spontaneously created. Below, then, are the descriptions that I then came up with and posted on Trollhalla. I decided to post them here as well to share my little burst of creativity with any readers that don’t visit Trollhalla, but might appreciate my spontaneous, chaotic creations. And so, without further ado, here is my list of 13 potential kindreds for the “Chaotic 8th edition” of T&T.

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Quilps = Little people who sell blankets and are given to sarcasm. They look a lot like Shippy.

Barghers = Werecats whose humanoid forms are elven. They love to crash parties.

Uuluu = Tall, lean, dark-skinned sylvan folk who throw spears and like to yodel.

Tranks = Dwarves with longer-than-normal noses and floppy ears, and who forget what they said shortly after saying it. Able to smell in the dark.

Gubblers = A race of bird-people who excel at inventing weird traps and who have a keen sense of direction, especially when it comes to up and down.

Jhauns = A warrior race of humans known for their vile tactics of passing gas a lot during combat. Also able to smell in the dark.

Iklu = Rock trolls. Just add water to get mud trolls. Then put them in the freezer for an hour to get ice trolls. Or bake at 325 for 30 minutes to get lava trolls.

The Omm = An ominous, omnivorous race of elves who communicate amongst themselves telepathically. If spoken to, they try to reply, but it always comes out as a humming sound. They know what they mean.

Hurburcamps = Humpbacked, hooved humanoids who can go without water for days. They do, however, need lots of grass and weed.

Tweetzles = A race of tiny, winged humanoids who charm others by their dazzling good looks, their long slender antennae which often sway back and forth in a hypnotic pattern (and the ends of which burn with a cold black flame when the Tweetzle is angry), and the way they mimic songbirds.

Yompers = A race of brutes who trudge across the continent in search of a land to call home. Leave them alone, and they will leave you alone. Bother them, and they will smack you on your hiney so hard you’ll need a Slush Yuck to get up.

Roobalopters = A relatively short-lived reptilian, humanoid race who act first and ask questions never. Actually, it’s difficult to know if they are asking questions, because their sibilant speech is hard to understand. But it usually sounds like they are whispering, “Die, pathetic mortal! Die!” They are probably the most misunderstood of all the races. They only kill in self defense, or if the mood strikes them.

Gratz = A race of plump demons who would love to just sit and watch the grass grow, but they must get up every so often to get something to drink. (They don’t have to eat, they’re demons.) Those with some energy, mostly the younger ones, like to go ballooning, so they can look down upon the grass from very high up. The most energetic of the Gratz go adventuring to amass lots of wealth so they can buy large tracts of land on which they and their family and friends can sit and watch the grass grow.

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Hope you enjoyed the results of my little exercise in chaotic creativity. And now I need to get back to my projects!

Ommmmmm……….